“Train up a
child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs 22:6
It is important, in
considering the great implications of Proverbs 22:6, to remember that there is
all the difference in the world between telling a child and training a child.
The Hebrew word translated “train” means “to hedge in.” The word suggests a picture
of cattle being guided into a pen. Their path is fenced so that there is only
one way they can go.
It is no
coincidence that “the way” was the usual New Testament word for Christianity.
Those who followed Christ were known as “people of the way.” We are responsible
as parents to guide our children into this way.
The work of
training children must begin when they are young. Child training has to be
comprehensive and consistent. There are four areas to be reached and ruled.
The first area is the mind. The entire educational system
of our secular society is geared to focus the mind's attention on this world's
priorities, philosophies, pleasures, prosperity, programs, principles, and
praise. The goal of secular education is to prepare children to succeed in this
world, so the system sets this world's art, science, religion, heroes, and
idols before the child. The goal of Christian parents must be different. They
must teach their children to fix their attention on the world to come.
In Genesis 4 we
read a list of Cain's descendants and catch a glimpse of people who lived
solely for this world. In Genesis 5 we read a list of Seth's descendants and
catch a glimpse of people who lived solely for the world to come. The parting
of the ways comes early in the Bible and must also come early in life. The
Christian parent must lay a firm foundation with the Bible during the first
seven years and then build on that foundation during the next ten years. Since
the entire secular-humanist educational system scoffs at the Bible, the
Christian parent must make sure that the Word of God is so firmly implanted in
the child's mind that no amount of secular influence will challenge the Bible's
authority.
In child training
the second area to be reached and ruled is the
heart. The citadel of the emotions has to be stormed and taken for Christ,
for self is firmly enthroned from the very beginning. Every child also comes
equipped with the capacity to love, hate, laugh, cry, desire, fear, and hope.
He is a bundle of emotional contradictions, thanks to the fall. Parents must
instill in their children a fear and horror of sin, seek to engage their
affections to Christ, and meet their emotional needs. Jesus is the friend of
little children and in our efforts to reach their hearts, we have a willing and
wondrous ally in the Holy Spirit.
The third area to
be reached and ruled is the will.
Above all, parents must school the will of their children in obedience. Genesis
18:17-19 shows the importance God places on this area of child training: “The
Lord said, Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do...? For I know him,
that he will command his children and his household after him.”
The marked decline
in parental authority in Abraham's line deserves careful study. Abraham's
family was marked by discipline, Isaac's by discord, and Jacob's by depravity.
Parents must
command respect, fear, and obedience early, for parents stand in the place of
God in the lives of their young children. That stubborn, childish will must
learn to obey without argument or the display of temper. Children who do not
learn to respect parental authority will learn to defy or challenge all authority.
The fourth area to
be reached and ruled is the conscience.
Conscience—the innate knowledge of right and wrong, the vice-regent of God in
the human soul—is the only positive legacy we have from the fall. But
conscience by itself is a goad rather than a guide, for it can be
conditioned—it can be sensitized or seared. That is why it is vital that conscience
be bonded to the Word of God. Parents must lay a good moral foundation early in
a child's life by instilling the precepts of the Mosaic law. These principles
condition the conscience, which the Holy Spirit eventually uses as the
instrument for bringing about conviction of sin, and conviction of sin is the
great prerequisite to genuine conversion.
“Train up a child
in the way he should go.” If we neglect this first part of the verse, how can
we claim the second part: “When he is old, he will not depart from it?”
It should be added
that this verse is not a promise. The
proverb enshrines a principle, but it is not a blanket guarantee that every
child raised in a Christian home will eventually be saved. The book of Proverbs
sets before us guidelines and general rules rather than unconditional promises.
Those who take Proverbs 22:6 to be an unqualified promise may well be
disappointed.