Productive Parenting

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Proverbs 22:6

It is important, in considering the great implications of Proverbs 22:6, to remember that there is all the difference in the world between telling a child and training a child. The Hebrew word translated “train” means “to hedge in.” The word suggests a picture of cattle being guided into a pen. Their path is fenced so that there is only one way they can go.

It is no coincidence that “the way” was the usual New Testament word for Christianity. Those who followed Christ were known as “people of the way.” We are responsible as parents to guide our children into this way.

The work of training children must begin when they are young. Child training has to be comprehensive and consistent. There are four areas to be reached and ruled.

The first area is the mind. The entire educational system of our secular society is geared to focus the mind's attention on this world's priorities, philosophies, pleasures, prosperity, programs, principles, and praise. The goal of secular education is to prepare children to succeed in this world, so the system sets this world's art, science, religion, heroes, and idols before the child. The goal of Christian parents must be different. They must teach their children to fix their attention on the world to come.

In Genesis 4 we read a list of Cain's descendants and catch a glimpse of people who lived solely for this world. In Genesis 5 we read a list of Seth's descendants and catch a glimpse of people who lived solely for the world to come. The parting of the ways comes early in the Bible and must also come early in life. The Christian parent must lay a firm foundation with the Bible during the first seven years and then build on that foundation during the next ten years. Since the entire secular-humanist educational system scoffs at the Bible, the Christian parent must make sure that the Word of God is so firmly implanted in the child's mind that no amount of secular influence will challenge the Bible's authority.

In child training the second area to be reached and ruled is the heart. The citadel of the emotions has to be stormed and taken for Christ, for self is firmly enthroned from the very beginning. Every child also comes equipped with the capacity to love, hate, laugh, cry, desire, fear, and hope. He is a bundle of emotional contradictions, thanks to the fall. Parents must instill in their children a fear and horror of sin, seek to engage their affections to Christ, and meet their emotional needs. Jesus is the friend of little children and in our efforts to reach their hearts, we have a willing and wondrous ally in the Holy Spirit.

The third area to be reached and ruled is the will. Above all, parents must school the will of their children in obedience. Genesis 18:17-19 shows the importance God places on this area of child training: “The Lord said, Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do...? For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him.”

The marked decline in parental authority in Abraham's line deserves careful study. Abraham's family was marked by discipline, Isaac's by discord, and Jacob's by depravity.

Parents must command respect, fear, and obedience early, for parents stand in the place of God in the lives of their young children. That stubborn, childish will must learn to obey without argument or the display of temper. Children who do not learn to respect parental authority will learn to defy or challenge all authority.

The fourth area to be reached and ruled is the conscience. Conscience—the innate knowledge of right and wrong, the vice-regent of God in the human soul—is the only positive legacy we have from the fall. But conscience by itself is a goad rather than a guide, for it can be conditioned—it can be sensitized or seared. That is why it is vital that conscience be bonded to the Word of God. Parents must lay a good moral foundation early in a child's life by instilling the precepts of the Mosaic law. These principles condition the conscience, which the Holy Spirit eventually uses as the instrument for bringing about conviction of sin, and conviction of sin is the great prerequisite to genuine conversion.

“Train up a child in the way he should go.” If we neglect this first part of the verse, how can we claim the second part: “When he is old, he will not depart from it?”

It should be added that this verse is not a promise. The proverb enshrines a principle, but it is not a blanket guarantee that every child raised in a Christian home will eventually be saved. The book of Proverbs sets before us guidelines and general rules rather than unconditional promises. Those who take Proverbs 22:6 to be an unqualified promise may well be disappointed.

Good News and Bad News

“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord”

Romans 6:23

Modern culture has been replete with a series of “good news and bad news” jokes. For example, there is the one about the pastor who stood up on Sunday and declared, “The good news is we have enough money here this morning to pay off the church debt and to build our new building.” Then he added, “But the bad news is, it is still in your pockets!” Or, there is the one where the church moderator said, “The good news is the deacons have voted to send a get-well card to our ill pastor. However, the bad news is the vote was 31-30!”

When we come to Romans 6:23, one of the most informative and inspirational verses in the Bible, we find some good news and some bad news. The bad news is “the wages of sin is death.” But, the good news is “the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

The Bad News

There is some bad news in this verse. “The wages of sin is death.” The Greek word for sin is best understood as “missing the mark.” The word picture describes an archer who shoots his arrow at the target and misses the bull's eye.

We all find ourselves here as we have “all sinned and come short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23). We have all missed the mark and the bad news is that its cost, or wage, is death.

A “wage” is what we get for doing something. We work a certain number of hours and our employer pays us an agreed upon wage. It is something we have earned, something we deserve. It is something we have coming to us. The Bible says, “The wages of sin is death.” It is strange how many men and women sin thinking it is going to pay dividends of fun and pleasure. But Satan is a liar. Sin pays its wage alright but its wage is “death” which is separation from all that is good.

The bad news is that sin pays its wage and its wage is death. Payday is coming someday. That is the bad news. When we miss the mark, it costs us greatly.

The Good News

But the good news is, “The gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” It is a gift, a free gift which cannot be earned nor deserved. We all remember the excitement of opening gifts as children around the Christmas tree. We did not have to pay for those gifts. We did nothing to earn them. We simply opened them and received them. A gift is the opposite of a wage. We earn and deserve our wages. We don't earn or deserve a gift. If we did, it would be a reward and not a gift.

How is this all possible? We still have to deal with the bad news. Jesus made the way possible for us by dealing with the bad news Himself. Two thousand years ago on a Roman cross outside the city walls of Jerusalem, Jesus took the bad news and “became sin for us.” Yes, the wages of sin is death and He died our death on the cross, paying the penalty for our sin. He paid the price so we could finish the verse with the good news, “But the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” He made a way out of no way. Our part is to receive this God-provided and free gift by faith alone in Him.

What a difference there is in these two bits of news. The bad news is, sin is costly, it has a wage attached to it. The good news is, eternal life is free. It is Gods gift to us. And, that is no joke!

A New Beginning

“Entreat me not to leave you, Or to turn back from following after you; For wherever you go, I will go; And wherever you lodge, I will lodge; Your people shall be my people, And your God, my God.”

Ruth 1:16

The book of Ruth is one of the most beautiful stories ever told. The climax towards which the whole book moves is the birth of a baby in Bethlehem. It provides the vital link between the days of the Judges and the coming of David. Yet the whole romance is woven around the story of a prodigal family and a kinsman-redeemer, around a Gentile woman and a high-born Hebrew of the princely line of Judah.

The book of Ruth is the story of redemption. It tells how one who was a stranger to the commonwealth and covenants of Israel, dwelling in heathen darkness was introduced to one who became her kinsman-redeemer and her lord.

When the story opens Ruth was a pagan. She was a member of a hostile race and cut off from any knowledge of the living God. In fact, as a Moabitess, she was not only without God but she was without hope for the law of Moses legislated with particular severity against her people (Deuteronomy 23:3-4). Yet, in spite of this, we see God setting in motion a chain of events which brought her at last to Boaz. Yes, and lifted her into the royal line and gave her a living link with the Christ Himself (Matthew 1:5).

The first link in the chain that brought her to Boaz was a famine (1:1), a providential act of God over which she had no control and about which she probably knew nothing and cared less. For the famine was not even in Moab, it was in Judea. Yet it was the beginning of things for Ruth although she did not know it.

The second link in the chain was a family. There moved into her life a family from Bethlehem. Although they were away from God and although they were in a place where they had no right to be and although their testimony must have been dim indeed, yet Ruth first heard of Jehovah through this family. She married into this family and had a first-hand opportunity to see and to hear for herself their devotion to their God. For despite their backslidden condition there must have been much about the family of Elimelech which spoke to her heart.

The third link in the chain was a funeral. In fact there were three funerals one after another. Her own husband died. It was a tragedy at the time, perhaps, but she could never have come to know Boaz as God intended her to know him without that funeral. God is too loving to be unkind and too wise to make any mistakes.

The fourth link in the chain was a fear. Her mother-in-law, Naomi, announced one day that she was leaving Moab. The only light Ruth had, and a dim, poor light it was, was going out. She feared to be left in the dark and she voiced her resolution to get to know Naomi's God in one of the most forthright statements of faith and purpose in Scripture: But Ruth said: “Entreat me not to leave you, Or to turn back from following after you; For wherever you go, I will go; And wherever you lodge, I will lodge; Your people shall be my people, And your God, my God. Where you die, I will die, And there will I be buried. The Lord do so to me, and more also, If anything but death parts you and me.” (1:16-17).  Would to God that we would all have the same determination to follow our Lord!

The Second Mile

“And whoever compels you to go one mile,

go with him two.”

Matthew 5:41

The phrase, “going the second mile,” has found its way into our modern vernacular. Its roots are found all the way back in first century Palestine. By Roman law a Roman citizen or soldier could compel a subject from one of the conquered lands to carry his backpack, or load, for him for one mile, but one mile only. As Jesus was preaching His Sermon on the Mount, I have often wondered if He inserted the reference about the second mile when He saw an object lesson unfolding before Him and His hearers. He said, “Whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two.”

Can you imagine the bombshell this must have been as it fell upon the ears of those under Roman occupation who were listening to His sermon? Jesus called upon His hearers to do what was required of them “and then some.”

What is it that separates some from others in athletics or education or business or the arts, or in any endeavor? It is the drive to do more than is expected or required. The “second mile is a secret to success in life. One cannot travel the second mile without influencing others. It only takes one second miler in a home to change the entire environment. It only takes one second miler on a team or in the office to do the same. The second mile, is journeyed through motivation by the love of Christ.

Incidentally, the second mile is the mile our Lord Himself walked. He knows the road very well. It was love that took Him on the second mile to the cross. At the cross He bore the weight, not of a Roman soldier’s backpack, but of our own sin. He went the second mile for us, we should always go the second mile for Him.

Approved or Ashamed?

“Be diligent (study) to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.”

2 Timothy 2:15

One of the great temptations of the busy believer is to stop studying the Bible. After all, in experiencing many years of the Christian life, most of us have heard hundreds of sermons, sat through a multitude of Bible classes, listened to endless CD’s and tapes, read a library of Christian books and listened continuously to Christian radio. And, this is not to mention the countless internet websites with sermons and Christian information at our fingertips. The modern believer finds himself with so many resources that it becomes easy to evolve into a mode where we spend most of our time reading about the Bible and less and less time actually studying God’s word itself, systematically and consistently.

Paul admonishes young Timothy, and us, at this point to study the word of truth (God’s Word) so that when He examines our lives and how we have lived them, that we might not stand before Him ashamed.

Keeping Life in Focus

“Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 3:13-14

Focus. That single word holds the key for success in so many different endeavors of life. This was at the heart of Paul’s own interest when he challenged us to “set our minds on things above” in the Colossian letter. It is at the heart of his message to the Philippians when he says, “this one thing I do.” Focus is fundamental to spiritual success as well business success. Keeping the main thing the main thing in the midst of a multitude of other things is always a challenge for the follower of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Paul’s plan was to put the past resolutely behind him and set his sights on “one thing.” D.L. Moody used to say, “It is better to say, ‘This one thing I do,’ than to say, ‘These forty things I dabble with.’” Paul would agree. He concentrated all his energy on the one goal he had set for himself. He was focused, nothing would distract him.

Throughout this entire intense passage we see Paul as a man running a race. His head is thrust forward, his expression is set in fiercely determined lines, his body is straining toward the goal, his every nerve is tense, his breath is coming in gasps, and his whole being is stretched to the uttermost. Every last ounce of energy and will power he has is being spent to win the prize.

What is the prize? “The upward call of God.” Paul wanted to be a way-out-front winner. He wanted to be in the “out-resurrection.” He wanted to be one of those called out from the rank and file of those ascending on high. He wanted the prize.

The bottom line of this uncompromising dedication, what motivated Paul, was Christ. It was the Master, not a map that held the apostle in his unswerving and unsparing race toward the goal. Always behind the visions of the lands and the lost was the vision of the Lord.